I had what I refer to as a “life reality check” not too long ago. The discovery disturbed me, though for the life of me I don’t know why. I do regret having lost a dear and treasured friend but further reflection made me question whether or not the friend that I considered dear and treasured may not have thought the same about me, nor felt the same way about me. That’s just downright sad, but I’m a realist and I certainly don’t want to be in someone’s life that doesn’t want me there…okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to the subject at hand, the recent reality check.
It was revealed by a gal that I don’t really consider a friend but have fondly or not so fondly referred to the gal as The Co-Worker From Hell. Everyone has a person like this gal at some time in their work life/history. She’s the gal that gets away with the most blatant disregard for the rules of the office, not to mention this gal is the one that finds any and every excuse NOT to be at the office but in the midst off a crisis every day of her life.
This was the gal that revealed that a blog I used to post in every day was being watched and read by a former employer and former co-workers. I used a pseudo ID but forgot that I had shared some intimate details of my “real” life with a co-worker I sat next to at my first “dream” job. I had no clue that this gal would eventually turn on me and lead to my demise of being “let go.” I was devastated to say the least when I found out what more or less was behind me being “let go” from that job. I LOVED that job. I could see myself working there until I was in my 70s easily. But it was not meant to be and the powers that be decided “I” was the one support staff that could be “let go.” Basically, I was fired though that employer made the choice to say “let go.”
I sometimes think I’m slow when it comes to realizing the true meaning behind someone’s actions. In this particular instance, a gal I had deemed the “co-worker-from-Hell” at that dream job, informed me that my blog had been “watched” for quite a while…even before I was “let go” and that I had hurt some people in the process. This gal also informed me that she had tried hard not to judge me and my lifestyle. Seriously, do you think it bothers me that she does not approve of me or my lifestyle????? Since leaving that particular job, I’ve had my share of work place ugliness. I have also learned that there is a co-worker-from-hell just about everywhere you work, in every office, small, big, medium sized…there is always someone that does not give a rat’s ass if she/he hurt your feelings with what they say and do. They simply do not care about anyone or anything other than herself. It is amazing how these workplace bullies stay at jobs for years because no one wants to confront them. Nevertheless, this gal was the one person that finally shed the light that my former employer had been following my blog for several years. Not just my boss but several of the higher-ups that I worked for and under at that particular job. What a bunch of perverts!!!! Seriously, why would you follow someone’s blog on a sex site after you’ve “let her go?” The co-worker-from-hell shared with me that those folks wanted to see what I was saying about that particular office. I didn’t hold back since leaving that employment. I blasted any and all of them whenever I felt like it. I really struggled with loosing that position. So, to work through my frustrations and disappointments, I took to blogging. I didn’t hold back, I really put it out there…it’s funny now because I keep thinking of how someone if not several people at that office would log on to a sex site while at the office, justifying that they were seeing what I was saying about “the firm”…seriously, I was angry at specific people, not the firm or office as a whole…I was angry, frustrated and disappointed in those select few. Like I said, it’s funny now, but when I first learned of the blog reading, I was freaked out. Now, I’m just disgusted that I let anyone from that office upset me or cause me any kind of adverse emotion.
I’m finally moving forward and getting past all that I was obsessing with having lost that job. It ranked right up there with being fired. If you’ve ever been fired from a job, you know what I’m talking about when I say that you go through a cycle of emotions until you finally find your way to a new and better place in yourself. You really get rattled to the core!!!
Everything happens for a reason and I’m finally hoping that I’m on the path to finding another “dream” job. That is IF that dream job does truly exist. I’ve slowed down my posts in the blog on the sex site. Who knows if any of those folks are still reading my blog on the sex site, I really don’t care any more what they think or how they feel unless in some crazy way they prevent me from bettering myself when I pursue other opportunities. Seriously, why would any of those people want to stand in my way of pursuing my redirected hopes and work dreams?