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It’s Been A While…

I tend to go through phases where I try and do a blog post a day, every day to not ever logging on.  It would appear that I simply haven’t had the interest to log in to my blog here on WordPress and share what has been going on in my life, with my life.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, putting my thoughts down on paper until the computer age crept in on me and then I started pecking away at the keyboard, saving my thoughts, dreams, fantasies, disappointments down into a folder into the harddrive, then disks, then flashdrives, CDs…saving, preserving what is currently going on in my life or what has happened.

So, what has the Mature Sex Goddess been up to over the past 7 1/2 months????

Well, Let’s see where I left off…

The last blog post I made was at the end of December 2011.  Here I am now on July 14, 2012…let’s see…

I lost my job back about mid-January 2012.  I aboslutely HATED that job and was abruptly “let go” with an explanation that the attorney I was working for had decided to go with a gal that had a paralegal certification.  Really??? Seriously????  Not a problem but if you think I’m going to stick around and train the new gal that supposedly has better credentials than I do, think again!!!  I may be slow to “get it” sometimes but I’m not stupid.  I had about 3 days to clear my office computer, download what I did want onto a flashdrive, gather up all my stuff, turn in my parking garage card and building security card and I was done with that freaking poor excuse for a law office.

I immediately filed for unemployment and then over the next couple of weeks found my unemployment compensation delayed due to the SOB attorney I worked for sending me a “severance” check that he neglected to give me when he discharged me…all the while I continued my search for a new job.  I never really stopped looking for another job after I was “let go” from my dream job…so, my resume was up-to-date which made my search a bit more intense now that I was truly out of a job and monthly income.

Needless to say, I was only “unemployed” for three weeks when an employment agency I’ve used previously called me up and asked if I would be interested in working a “temp-to-hire” position.  For some reason, that sounded perfect…I would not have to commit to the law firm and they would not have to commit to me…it sounded like a win-win opportunity.

I have to admit, I liked being a “temp.”  I was pleasantly surprised to find that the group of gals I was put in the midst of at this job are a much better fit than the 20-somethings I had to endure at the last job.  These gals are all my age and older…much more experienced and though everyone has her fair share of drama in their lives, very little of it is actually brought to the office.

The temp-to-hire position evolved into a full-time legal assistant position and I “officially” went on the payroll as of June 1, 2012.  It was an easy transition from temp to full-time hire and I admit that I’m happy with where I currently find myself in the work world.  It is NOT the perfect job nor my “dream” job…I now know that that is something that I will more than likely never find again…all things happen for a reason, I’m just still trying to figure out why “I” was the one that ended up being the bargaining chip or pawn piece in the scheme of things over the past four years.

My “housemate” has been with me now officially for one year.  The past four months have seen that friendship deteriorate dramatically…I finally had to stand up and call my friend down on what was happening and how I had had enough of his so-called “funny” comments and actions.  I have basically done myself in financially by letting my friend live here rent-free…coupled with loosing my last job and trying to recoop and stay up with my day-to-day living expenses…let’s just say that I’m in worse shape financially than I have been in the past few years.  Frustrating to say the least.

Back to my housemate…I called him on all that has been bothering me over the past four months and basically told him that he would now pay a $200 a month rent starting July 1st and a projected move-out date of September 1st with the back-up move out date of December 31, 2012 if he wasn’t financially able to get his own place the first of September.

My housemate took me seriously and went and found an apartment, got his name on the list, filled out all the paperwork and found out this past Thursday he was approved and he can move into his apartment July 24th.  I found out from my live-in old man that my housemate also bought a bed and leather sofa yesterday and will have it delivered to his new apartment on the 24th…I had to laugh because the night before last I had talked with the housemate about taking his time to furnish his new place and now running out and buying a bunch of shit before he really got a feel for the place…so much for my wise words!!!!

So, looks like my housemate of the past year will be moving out in the next couple of weeks and I’m good with that…actually, I’m looking forward to having the house back for a little while before my “old man’s” mother possibly moves in with us.

Where am I healthwise????  I’m at my heaviest weight I’ve ever been at right now.  I don’t even want to type the number in because I am really stressed about it.  I know what I have to do, it’s time to make myself start doing the right things…eating right, exercising more…finding a good place to work through this weight issue and get the weight off so I can wear all my fabulous clothes and shoes packing my closets.

Where is the “Mature Sex Goddess” part of this blog????  Why am I going on and on about what’s been going on with me job-wise, housemate wise…health and weight wise????  This all has to do with how so NOT like a sex goddess I am feeling right now.  I don’t feel that I look sexy, thus I don’t feel that I am sex goddess worthy.  Don’t worry, these feelings don’t last very long…I’m not one that is prone to get depressed and stay depressed.  I usually pull out of a defunk state of mind without a 24-hour period…this will be the case with today’s feelings.

I know…I know…where’s the “sex?”  That’s another blog post…for now, I’m re-introducing myself!!!

Sunday Reflections 4-17-2011…

I am full of reflection today as there isn’t much else I can really do while convalescing…don’t get me wrong, I’m most grateful to be where I find myself right now…I’ve had a rough couple of months!!!

I’m going to head back to work tomorrow.  That should be interesting to say the least.  I have an appointment with my primary care doctor at 11:00 a.m. which reminds me that I’m not in this alone, that my doctors are keeping an eye on me, that this was a very serious situation.  I’m sure they are just as anxious to figure out where we go from here and how I will progress.  I know this depends entirely on how well I follow the doctors’ orders.

I am going to see how long it takes me before I’m too exhausted to stay at work tomorrow.  My goal right now is 2:00 or 3:00 p.m…I’m trying to be realistic and I’m thinking that’s about as long as I’ll be able to tolerate the pain.

I’m finding people’s reactions to my “condition” interesting.  I mean seriously, how many people do you know that has had a bout with a ruptured appendix and has not had surgery to remove that nasty, diseased little piece of useless material????  And the label of “walking time bomb” comes to mind as well.  I do realize not having had to undergo surgery maybe helped in my recovery time. Though the surgeon told me there was no guarantee that I wouldn’t eventually have to have my appendix out, right now, we’re just watching and waiting to see how my body continues to fight.

Sex…well, it had become painful to masturbate myself a couple of weeks before I ended up in the hospital.  Apparently all the inflammation surrounding my vagina was just too much…not that I shared any of this with my doctors…that was a big red flag when it became painful to masturbate…something has got to be wrong with a person if they’re not able to self-pleasure without pain!!!
Interesting gauge I have, huh??????

Yes, I have masturbated since I’ve been home…no pain, but complete exhaustion after orgasming.  Gotta start somewhere figuring out where I’m at in the “healing” process and what better way than to masturbate!!!!

I’m frustrated because I’m not physically able to go down and help a friend that lost everything in the Tushka, Oklahoma tornado of last Thursday.  He’s fine but his place is pretty much gone.  I would be right in the big-assed middle of helping him if I were able, but he made me promise that I would stay here in Tulsa and wait it out.  There will be plenty of time to head down there to help him out throughout the spring and summer.  I just hate to hear when one of my friends is in need of some help and just good ol’TLC.  He’s a very dear man to me and I hate that I can’t be there for him like he’s been there for me so many, many times over the last 10-years.

So, I’m hoping to get some normalcy back into my life as this week begins.

Have a great week ahead!!!

The Perfect CL Ad…

I’ve come across another ad on CL that piqued my interest.  It’s what I refer to as a “perfect” ad inviting some lucky gal to come and be a man’s “kept” woman.

The requirements are rigorous…you must be able to travel with this man, be his “eye candy” and eventually the friendship or relationship of sorts could evolve into marriage if both parties are agreeable.

This ad particularly caught my eye because of the offers of the “good life” it proclaimed.  I particularly liked this part: “New Mercedes SKL class, a wardrobe shopping spree and introductions to his circle of friends locally and throughout the US. He expects to also meet your friends/family and would like to put on a gala catered event at his house…home of 4,000 sq ft with pool.”  As far as maintenance of the woman that responds to this ad, she is expected to enjoy:  “Appreciate the upper class comfort lifestyle of having weekly maid services, lawn services and being taken care of through salons of her choice.”

The age bracket for this “position” of “kept” woman is 35-50, which means I’m slightly outside of that brackets.  I did go ahead and send a quick note of introduction.  I liked reading that there was an extensive questionnaire that would be sent and required to be filled out completely.  I love challenges and even though I’m not feeling at the top of my game lately, I could see myself quitting my current job and getting into this type of gig totally and completely…

At least, for a little while…I did hear back from the posting.  There had been an overwhelming response to the final posting and there had been 7 interviews set up for this man.  If for some reason none of those 7 candidates don’t meet the criteria of what is being sought, then I would be contacted and the questionnaire would be sent and exchange of pics.  With so many gals unemployed and not necessarily wanting to become employed…this would be a perfect opportunity for the right gal to put herself out there in what I call a basic business relationship…bargaining with one’s pussy has gone on for thousands of years…why not?????

I liked this ad because it was more or less an ad for a position…a real human resources type ad with that twist that I enjoy.  I’m not saying I would necessarily be happy for very long in a deal like this, but for a few of the finer things in life, I could make myself behave and mold into what someone else wants me to be…if only for a little while…I had to chuckle after reading the ad because I wondered how many women would respond if they knew that basically they would be expected to put out sex in exchange for all that this ad offers.  I am always amused at how many women become incensed when they realize that sex is a huge part of a business deal…a gal has to do what a gal has to do to get where and what she wants out of life.  I have no problem doing what I have to do to get what I want…fitting “love” into the equation, seriously, love can and does happen, but sometimes it just doesn’t “fit” into the whole schedule of things.  I have never had a problem putting out sex for whatever it is I am gearing for…and quite honestly I prefer to keep emotion out of the sexual equation.

The man would have to be one hell of a man for me to ever consider getting married.  I won’t say I will NEVER get married again, the probabilities are simply higher than the average gal that I won’t get married again!!!  Marrying for love is simply not something I’m interested in…marrying for money, sex, Hell yes, where do I sign??????  lol

Anyway, another perfect CL ad!!!

Tuesday…

Today is supposed to be another blustery day with winds whipping up to about 20 to 30 mph. It is suppose to warm up more today. The fire danger around Oklahoma is growing worse by the day…no real rain in sight over the next week or so…hints of rain, but the chances are barely 20%.

For the most part, yesterday was a good day…the pain in my right side was barely noticeable. I was busy with time entries and cleaning up documents that I had been working on with my main attorney since the middle of last week in preparation for sending off to be filed today.

The NCAA Championship was pretty much anti-climatic last night. It was one of the lowest scoring games since the 1940s…basically, it was sloppy basketball compared to the other games in the tournament, especially when you look back at the games these two teams played and won to get to the Final Game. Such is life and UConn has another NCAA win in the books.

I’m debating on whether or not to go to walking group this evening. I barely have the strength to get home from work after a full work day and today is my day to back up the receptionist so I’ll be expelling extra work energy today, so I’ll more than likely just come home right after work. I feel so drained of my energy lately and I have the pain in a manageable stage right now. If I don’t push myself too hard, I barely know it’s there!!!

I got to thinking last night and I realized that right now, I’m paying more attention to every little thing that I do or my body does.  I remember a time when my kids were growing up where I was paying attention to how many times he/she went to the bathroom…how many times I had to change a “poopey” diaper.  Mom was supposed to look at and know the consistency of her child’s poop.  Here I am keeping track of the same thing for myself…how many times I have to go to the bathroom throughout the work day…the consistency of my poop…how many times I urinate during the day…what’s the color of my urine.  I find myself wondering if I’m “normal” or why off the charts…what did my bloodwork show from Friday, if anything.

I did find it interesting that the Lab that did my blood work had already filed on my health insurance.  I’ll be receiving the bill for my portion any day now…which I’m pretty sure by the time I get a CT scan done and see the doctor a time or two more, I will more than likely make my high health insurance deductible and try to figure out how much I can pay on that until it gets taken care of…which is kind of ironic because for the first time in 10 years, I also owe Federal and State Income taxes!!!!

I’m trying to figure out a way to file my 2010 Federal Income Tax Return and put off making payments until later in the year…which I won’t be able to afford any more later in the year than I’m able right now…that’s the craziness of my life right now. I’ve had several folks give me suggestions as to how to approach this situation…the last time I looked at all of my 1099s and W-2s or 4s was the first week in February…when the Turbo Tax calculator went into red numbers, that’s when I quit and set it all aside.  I don’t want to look at it or think about it until I absolutely HAVE TO, which will be April 15th!!!  I’ll decide the best route for me to take on this deal…why do I feel continually bent over and getting fucked in the ass?????  I don’t like or care of anal sex at all!!!!!! lol

I’m part of the lower-income middle class that is getting fucked all the way around…I get up and go to work, regardless of how I feel healthwise…I’m expected to go to work, I’m expected to be there regardless…so, I do.  I have to pay half of my health insurance premium which is twice the amount that the young gals in the firm pays per month…AND, in spite of the fact that I made about $5000 less last year in overall income, I’m having to pay both State and Federal taxes because I took an early withdrawal of my 401k to keep my house payment and car payments, as well as the rest of my bills paid up while I was unemployed for 30-days.  Sure I collected unemployment benefits for 21-days of that 30-day unemployment stint…trust me, I barely had enough from unemployment benefits to pay some of my monthly utility payments.  I could not have made my car payment, my house payment AND utilities, as well as eat on unemployment…so, I get penalized for trying to stay on top of the “big” payments!!!  Go figure!!!  There are folks that have been on unemployment going on 2-years.  How in the Hell are they making it??????

Here I am…frustrated, hurting, angry, sad…it really doesn’t matter because it’s time to get in the shower and get ready for another work week day!!!

Time to head to the shower and get this work day underway…have a great Tuesday ahead.

Sunday Reflections, April 3, 2011…

I am having a chuckle over how fast we’ve entered the 4th month of 2011. While it seems each work day creeps by during the work week, I am amazed that it’s already the month of April.

Spring has sprung to a point…there’s a dry line supposed to be moving through later tonight that will cool temps off again, at least down into the lower 40s…no snow, no bitter cold, just some colder air…maybe some rain, but that’s “iffy.”

I wasn’t able to work in the yard as I had hoped yesterday. The pain got to be too much so I just gave up and tried my best to stay on top of the pain and rest. I am so sick of “respecting” my body and “resting”…I am hoping that my new doctor will help me figure out what in the Hell is wrong with me over the next week or so…my over active imagination is running wild and as I think of possibilities, I research such on the internet…I’m trying to stay positive and hope that this is merely a part of growing older and my body being cranky about the aging process…surely there is some medication or a procedure that will “cure” this deal…guess we will see.

I was thrilled to watch the Final Four last night and will be tuning in to the Final game on Monday night. The big bracket pool went all to Hell and I did note that there is one guy, the husband of my former co-worker-from-Hell that has turned out to be a better friend after my departure from my previous employer, her husband is the guy that could win it all. I have to admit, I would be thrilled for her and her husband. Funny, the former co-worker-from-Hell and I have kept in touch and had some good discussions over the past six months…I think she was even surprised and disgusted with how I was treated…I think it scared her, too. Anyway, I liked looking at the possible standings last night as the final seconds of the second game ticked off…

Today, well, I need to make sure I water my Azaleas on the east most side of my house. They’re starting to bloom out and as dry as it is, I know it will help them if I give them a good drink of water…I noticed there are lots of bushes just starting to burst with color…today is supposed to be another rather warm day, so, I’m sure even more bushes and flowers will burst out in full bloom.

I’ve got to look into filing an extension on my taxes…I simply don’t want to pay up right now…I simply can’t afford to pay taxes right now, so I’ll figure out how to file an extensive and then brace myself for the crap of eventually filing and paying the taxes later in the year…that makes me angry and disgusted to think of how I will have to pay taxes and I made less money this past year than I have in several years…folks like me are always getting screwed tax wise…

Of course, I’ve heard that the current President of the U.S. is getting his paperwork in order to run for a second term…what a crock of shit!!!! Even that little bit of sharing has made my blood boil and my blood pressure shoot sky high!!! The first thought that popped into my head when I heard of this “second” term was, let me bend over and grab my ankles and let’s see how many more ways you can fuck me in the ass!!!!!! ‘Nuf said.

I feel as though I’m currently in limbo…mostly because of my health…once I get something resolved about my health, everything else in my life will fall into place again and all will be right with my world.

Have a great week ahead!!!

Thursday…Happy St. Pat’s Day!!!!

I enjoyed a fabulous new friend last night!!!  I slept like a rock, that good, relaxed sleep where you wake up feeling so good the next morning!!!  What a treat to find such an enthusiastic and skilled sex partner!!  He played my pussy like a fine violin and then accompanied my full body orgasm with an incredible massage…he had me cooing and purring, all the stress and tension of the day gone…completely disappeared…I hope our schedules permit another session or more while he’s in the area…I’m still basking in the afterglow!!!

I will admit that this new friend is in his mid-40s.  His strength and stamina very apparent but I attribute some of that to the fact that he takes care of himself…he’s got a slim, firm, athletic body…wonderful to touch and be to do the touching.  He was eager to please as well as receive…does this mean that I’m having a change of heart with regard to seeing and enjoying younger men?  Possibly…while there are some fantastic benefits to the man in his 40s…I don’t see myself going for a man more than ten years my junior…I was pleasantly surprised last night.  Funny, but having several little orgasms before giving into that fabulous, full-body orgasm…well, the tremors went zipping through my body for several minutes afterward…he held me and rubbed me as the little jolts ran up and down my whole body…I felt the stress lift out of me…pure bliss!!! So, yes, there is something to be said for the younger man…so far the few that I’ve enjoyed have been worth being selective…yes, a smile is playing across my lips!!!

The temperatures have gone into total spring mode…the “low” for the night was 66 degrees…the humidity level is at 75%…I’m not complaining, just chuckling how we can go from extreme winter for a few days back to balmier temps…bearable, very bearable…

There’s another bit of ugliness stirring at the office…the youngest secretary just can’t seem to keep her ass at the office…she decided to take off at 4:45 p.m. yesterday afternoon…when one of the attorneys came around asking where she was, it was pretty funny…I was back and forth from my desk to the receptionist desk most of the afternoon…luckily, I had nothing pressing, but you know, it wouldn’t have mattered because I would have had to still go up and back-up the receptionist desk with the receptionist and the youngest secretary in and out of the office like they were.

Today, several of us are heading down to an Irish Pub bar/restaurant for lunch today.  The other older gal is planning on having some green beer…I just might have a sip or two.  I know it will be crazy packed with other folks wanting to indulge in some green beer and Irish food…it ought to be a complete circus down there as the crowds are starting to come into the downtown area for the NCAA Tournament Games that will be played at the BOK Center…

Which, the NCAA Tournament gets underway today, 10:00 a.m. tip off…I’m so excited.  I filled out 5 brackets and passed the money off to a former co-worker that still works over at my previous firm.  I love it that I will be able to watch my brackets’ progress online…and no one will be the wiser over there…hopefully, I’ll do well again and place in one of the four top placements.  That would be pretty funny if I did well…both with respect to the former firm and the fact that the current firm won’t let anyone but the attorneys in on their goofy-assed fantasy basketball pool…we’ll see how it goes, I’ve got it all covered.

So, for this 2011 St. Patrick’s Day, I’ve got a smile on my face and feel pretty rested compared to how I’ve felt the last couple of weeks.  The pain in my side and my stomach ailments seem to be subsiding a bit, so hopefully I’ll be able to make it to walking group this evening and do the 2.7 miles with hills without too much trouble.  I’ve decided it is Hell to get old and even when you’re taking pretty good care of your body, things can go crazy…I do know that I’m very much aware of what I’m eating, when I eat and how much I’m hydrating myself…these are things we take for granted…and for the most part, we don’t suffer the consequences very often, but I’m learning.  If I don’t get a handle on it now, I know I will have continued health problems as I do get older.

Time to finish up my breakfast and coffee…have a Happy St. Pat’s Day!!!!

Sunday Reflections…March 13, 2011

I made it through another work week…granted with some aches and pains…nevertheless, I survived!!!

I’ve about decided the pain in my right side is associate with kidney stones…the pain disappeared yesterday and has yet to return.  I’m keeping hydrated and active.  Stones apparently act up when you let yourself get dehydrated, makes the kidneys work harder.  So, we’ll see…at least, I feel I’m going to live…for the time being.

I got a lot of yard work done yesterday…though there’s tons more still waiting to be tended to…I was able to get the old rose bush I was given by an elderly family friend planted yesterday…it’s already putting out fresh growth…I think my timing was right on point…

My veggie plants are sprouting like crazy…they should be ready to transplant to their permanent placement here in the next week or two…which means I’ve got to transplant my irises and daffodils…
I’ve yet to get another crop of SweetGum balls up…just ran out of energy yesterday.

I’m preparing for the big dance…the March Madness NCAA tournament.  The selection/bracketology show is this evening…I’ll be working on my brackets and making my choices to go all the way.  I don’t know if the firm I work for has a March Madness Bracketlogy Pool but you can be sure if they do, I will be buying into it.  I could contact one of my dear friends over at my former firm and do some brackets under their name…wouldn’t be anything to send money over and have them enter brackets for me…wouldn’t that chap everyone’s ass????

I found out which “large” law firm is merging as one of the employment gals had shared with me a couple of weeks ago…it was the firm I had first applied to before I left my last job.  Interesting because I got the distinct impression that there would be some support staff lay-offs coming with this merging of firms…guess we will see who is more affected, OKC or the Tulsa office.

Nothing new on the naughty/nasty front.  I’ve given up on the Edmond guy, haven’t heard from him since Wednesday when he sent me a note that he was glad he had canceled meeting me so he could tend to his business ventures with his business partner.  I doubt seriously I’ll hear from him again…I know he doesn’t read my blog, even though he professes to be a writer.  I don’t know, I’ve always been one to show interest in the hobbies and works of others…guess that doesn’t work both ways with a lot of these guys.  I mean seriously, why would I think a guy that is interested in fucking me want to know at least a little bit about what makes me tick??????  I know, I’ve got to let go of those high expectations in the men that I want to try out as viable partners!!!!

I made a discovery on the internet the other evening that involved an incident that my oldest son was involved in.  Talk about surprised and then the surprise turning to frustration as I read the article and then read the long list of comments on the local newspaper article.   I am frustrated that in this day and age there are still folks that think they should get preferential treatment when it comes to breaking the law and the consequences.  If you get caught breaking the law, then you need to man up and take the punishment.  Don’t try to be twisting things to suit or fit your situation…what kind of example does that set for kids????  Nevertheless, I find myself in an interesting position.  I’m proud of my son and know that his integrity is above board.  I will be most anxious to see how this whole situation plays out…I will say it won’t look bad for my son, it will look bad for the local judicial system…should be interesting to see how fast decisions are appealed and wrongs righted…and that’s all I’m going to say about that!!!

I’m busy getting myself ready for the work week ahead…