Today is supposed to be another blustery day with winds whipping up to about 20 to 30 mph. It is suppose to warm up more today. The fire danger around Oklahoma is growing worse by the day…no real rain in sight over the next week or so…hints of rain, but the chances are barely 20%.

For the most part, yesterday was a good day…the pain in my right side was barely noticeable. I was busy with time entries and cleaning up documents that I had been working on with my main attorney since the middle of last week in preparation for sending off to be filed today.

The NCAA Championship was pretty much anti-climatic last night. It was one of the lowest scoring games since the 1940s…basically, it was sloppy basketball compared to the other games in the tournament, especially when you look back at the games these two teams played and won to get to the Final Game. Such is life and UConn has another NCAA win in the books.

I’m debating on whether or not to go to walking group this evening. I barely have the strength to get home from work after a full work day and today is my day to back up the receptionist so I’ll be expelling extra work energy today, so I’ll more than likely just come home right after work. I feel so drained of my energy lately and I have the pain in a manageable stage right now. If I don’t push myself too hard, I barely know it’s there!!!

I got to thinking last night and I realized that right now, I’m paying more attention to every little thing that I do or my body does.  I remember a time when my kids were growing up where I was paying attention to how many times he/she went to the bathroom…how many times I had to change a “poopey” diaper.  Mom was supposed to look at and know the consistency of her child’s poop.  Here I am keeping track of the same thing for myself…how many times I have to go to the bathroom throughout the work day…the consistency of my poop…how many times I urinate during the day…what’s the color of my urine.  I find myself wondering if I’m “normal” or why off the charts…what did my bloodwork show from Friday, if anything.

I did find it interesting that the Lab that did my blood work had already filed on my health insurance.  I’ll be receiving the bill for my portion any day now…which I’m pretty sure by the time I get a CT scan done and see the doctor a time or two more, I will more than likely make my high health insurance deductible and try to figure out how much I can pay on that until it gets taken care of…which is kind of ironic because for the first time in 10 years, I also owe Federal and State Income taxes!!!!

I’m trying to figure out a way to file my 2010 Federal Income Tax Return and put off making payments until later in the year…which I won’t be able to afford any more later in the year than I’m able right now…that’s the craziness of my life right now. I’ve had several folks give me suggestions as to how to approach this situation…the last time I looked at all of my 1099s and W-2s or 4s was the first week in February…when the Turbo Tax calculator went into red numbers, that’s when I quit and set it all aside.  I don’t want to look at it or think about it until I absolutely HAVE TO, which will be April 15th!!!  I’ll decide the best route for me to take on this deal…why do I feel continually bent over and getting fucked in the ass?????  I don’t like or care of anal sex at all!!!!!! lol

I’m part of the lower-income middle class that is getting fucked all the way around…I get up and go to work, regardless of how I feel healthwise…I’m expected to go to work, I’m expected to be there regardless…so, I do.  I have to pay half of my health insurance premium which is twice the amount that the young gals in the firm pays per month…AND, in spite of the fact that I made about $5000 less last year in overall income, I’m having to pay both State and Federal taxes because I took an early withdrawal of my 401k to keep my house payment and car payments, as well as the rest of my bills paid up while I was unemployed for 30-days.  Sure I collected unemployment benefits for 21-days of that 30-day unemployment stint…trust me, I barely had enough from unemployment benefits to pay some of my monthly utility payments.  I could not have made my car payment, my house payment AND utilities, as well as eat on unemployment…so, I get penalized for trying to stay on top of the “big” payments!!!  Go figure!!!  There are folks that have been on unemployment going on 2-years.  How in the Hell are they making it??????

Here I am…frustrated, hurting, angry, sad…it really doesn’t matter because it’s time to get in the shower and get ready for another work week day!!!

Time to head to the shower and get this work day underway…have a great Tuesday ahead.

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