How are you spending your 4th of July???? I’m going to spend it with a couple of friends…we’ll cook some T-bone steaks on the grill (if the weather cooperates)…watch whatever 4th of July specials are on TV…I may make a run to blockbuster and see what movies I might want to rent…we watched the John Wayne marathon on AMC channel yesterday and last night.

I don’t know why, but today, I’m finding myself fighting the panic of my pending unemployment at the end of July. I’ll become one of the unemployed statistics…not sure I like that title. I find myself asking what will I be when I grow up? What will I do when I’m unemployed…I’m getting too old to be unemployed…I heard that there are some folks that have been unemployed for 27-months…dear gawd, will it take me that long to find another job???

I can’t afford to go shopping, at least, not for fun shopping or for the hellofit…well, maybe just a couple of things…no, I’m not going to give in, I’m going to be realistic and frugal…okay, who am I trying to kid??????

I need to get back on my “serious” walking program…I need to loose weight. I need to loose 50-lbs.!!! That’s the amount of weight I decided I needed to loose in order to be an “extremely” hot 52-year-old woman!!! Not sure how realistic that goal is, but I think I could wear everything in all of my closets!!!!

I need to find a rich, nasty husband!!!! Can you tell I’m spinning and whirling in my thought process today????? A rich, nasty husband would be the answer to all of my woes and worries!! (Seriously, I think I’ve lost my mind on that one, but if a guy that meets that criteria comes along, I won’t discount becoming exclusive…I might need to put a few disclaimers or clauses in that agreement in order to make it doable/livable!!!)

I thought about taking a drink…a drink of alcohol. It just looks and sounds so, damned good!! I haven’t had a drink in well over a year, maybe 2-years now that I think about it…simply hasn’t been something I’ve wanted to do, especially since starting my expensive, arthritis medication shots about a year ago…but those are liable to come to an end when I have no more health insurance…not to mention I hate how I feel within an hour after taking a drink…funny, but I don’t think my body can process the alcohol any more…at least, the last time I indulged I got a headache within 30-minutes and thought I was going to die the next morning my head hurt so freaking bad!!!!

Yes, Happy 4th of July!!! I’m doing my best to calm myself and enjoy the time off from the office…which will be ending at July 30th!!! Can you tell I’m trying to convince myself that this will be okay and I’ll survive just fine???? I will be okay, I will survive this little life deal…there’s got to be some speed bumps on the road of life in order to really and truly appreciate the smooth, long stretches…

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, 2010!!!!

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