Sunday Reflections (6-17-10)

I find myself fortunate to have made it through another work week with some of my sanity still in tack.  While I feel as though I’ve been shaken to my core with what I thought my life was about, I realize that things are not at all as them seem and will change in the blink of an eye.

While I’m not through beating myself up over the state of things or how things got where they’re at with regard to the office situation…I realize that being a “nice” person, someone that EVERYONE likes, isn’t at all something to be proud of, nor bank on.  I mean come on, who would have thought that “I” would have been the one to be put on the block and pushed out???  I look back and wonder if my fate would have been determined back when my mother went into the hospital for her back operation and then ended up dying 21-days later.  I wonder if I was up on the chopping block at that time, dealing with the harassment of the co-worker-from-hell, trying to work my job and run to the hospital to see about her…I wonder if I was really in jeopardy of loosing my job back then and because there were other struggles within our group going on, several folks came to my aid and prevented the now inevitable from happening…I do find it interesting how much one will speculate when the scheme of things has not been completely revealed.

I’m looking forward to being terminated/discharged…for some reason, the thought of taking some time to myself is so damned appealing to me.  The idea of taking a job to go right into the working day after I leave my current position, just isn’t something that I can see myself doing without going completely nuts!!!  The soonest I see myself becoming employed again would be the first of August…optimally, going back to work around September 1st would work…and if not, going back to school would be just fine with me.

It is great to read some of the responses I get to my blog posts.  There are folks that have it worse than I do but are surviving and making the most of the situation…there are some that are far better off than I am and will continue to prosper…seems I find myself somewhere in the middle of this mix…it is fascinating to hear what’s happening with other folks and how they are making it or making the most of the situation…

Nasty plans…no, I really don’t have any nasty plans for this week…I have several opportunities in the works.  I have a feeling if I’m available during the work week days, I’ll have some great opportunities to schedule some naughty, nasty fun…I’m looking forward to seeing what nasty opportunities open up during the rest of the summer…

Right now, no plans for the 4th of July…as I’ve said a couple of times, I’m simply not in a good place in which to be social…I don’t like where I’m at right now, personally and simply won’t subject my dear friends to my downer of a persona…it will pass, I’ll get through everything and get back to a great, happy and nasty place…just isn’t happening right now.

I did go back to Sam’s last night and buy one of the two fans I had picked out…it made a HUGE difference in my living room.  In fact, I got cold and had to turn it off…so, I’m quite pleased with that purchase.

I enjoyed the hell out of my BBQ chicken last night…OMG, it was fabulous!!!!

Today, I’m coloring my hair and getting ready to meet my brother, sister-in-law and their boys this afternoon…a little family time and then I’ve got to get some more potting soil to finish planting some remaining flowers.  We had a good little rain this morning, which totally caught me by surprise…I loved it because I won’t have to water anything…though now, it’s getting VERY steamy.  I’m thinking that by this afternoon there might be some more storms happening.

So, life is okay right now…I know it will get better…just have to take each day as it comes and ride this thing out!!!

Have a great week ahead!!!

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