Whew, met with the employment placement gal…that was a lot harder than I thought it would be…but, I made it through and I feel the gal is doing to do her best to find the right position for me. The reality of being without a job in the near future is terrifying for me…the reality became that much more real hearing someone tell me that I will more than likely be let go come 7-14-10…Wow, that was difficult coming from someone that has nothing to do with my firm.
So, time to put on my big girl panties and forge ahead. Hopefully, there will be someplace for me out there before the deadline, if not, I’ll just have to hang in there, file for unemployment and see what happens.
I hate being so emotional…that makes me really mad at myself that the tears come bubbling out and I get all choked up so easily talking about what’s going on at the office…especially with a stranger. I just feel so damned vulnerable lately, I’m hurt, frustrated, angry…I miss my mom and dad, I used to talk to them when I was down or needing some advice about what to do with my work life…I don’t have that now and that makes me miss my folks even more. It’s just knowing that they’re no longer there…it hits me all at once and the tears flow. My brother says I’m finally allowing myself to grieve…I just want the pain and loneliness to go away…I want to get back to a better place within myself…I’ll get there, it’s just tougher this time around.
So, that’s the afternoon report…I’ve got to refine my resume and clean it up some more and then it will be down to 2-pages…isn’t it amazing that one’s life can come down to two, typewritten pages?
Time to get ready for my early evening session…I need the diversion…nothing like a naked, securely bound man to bring a wicked smile to my lips!!!