Moving Right Along…


It’s almost Friday…I’m sooooo ready for this work week to be over…not that I’m necessarily looking forward to the next two weekends.  I’m finding myself cycling through so many different emotions right now, I just wear myself out…

I’m trying to find the time to work on my resume, get it all lined out…nothing like trying to sell oneself on paper before a potential employer will come face-to-face with me.  I know I can sell myself in person, but on paper…well, there’s so many factors that come into play.

I’m contemplating several different ways to beef up my physical exercise, get myself back on track to walk in the Tulsa Run come this next October.

The “estate” sale of my parents belongings and household items will be next weekend.  I will go over to the house and see what progress has been made.  The gal that is running the “estate” sale is doing a great job.  I followed a gal’s blog from out in California that did the same kind of deal, estate sales, so I have a good idea of what is involved and I’m so grateful to this woman who is helping me and my siblings make this transition to the next stage of our grieving process.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m doing “okay” when I’m really going through a personal Hell over all this…I’m so afraid that I am in the early stages of “hoarding” and will end up like my mother.  My mother was a collector of stuff…nothing really of major value but lots of stuff…and then the realization that 50+ years of stuff will be on display and sale next weekend…well, that’s my entire life that will be laid out, to some extent…again, I’m working through it, but it is a struggle.

I always have mixed emotions about Mother’s Day weekend.  My kids have been a long time in coming around and acknowledging me as their mother since the divorce.  My two boys, who are now men, call me and honor me on Mother’s Day…but my daughter, well, my daughter has a hectic life and I’m really not a part of it all.

Then I get all emotional thinking of how much I miss my own mother…this will be the 3rd Mother’s Day weekend without her…I still miss as much as I did that first year she was gone.

So, I’m kind of an emotional mess right now…not really wanting to socialize…wanting to fuck and take my mind of the other things going on in my life…helping other folks realize their sexual fantasies, that’s what I want to be doing…that will take my mind off of all these crazy feelings…just a naughty, nasty diversion or two or three…

Anyway, life is moving right along…NEXT!!!

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