Sunday Reflections (4-25-10)…

This has been a rough week…my first week of employment probation and I think I got the process going to turn it around from the bad review I got the week before. This process is exhausting…I’m going through all the emotional/psychological cycles…I started cleaning around my area/desk…bringing home various personal items, getting rid of unwanted papers and things…no time like the present to get things in tip-top shape.

I haven’t been able to eat…I’m simply not hungry throughout the work day…I haven’t been taking a lunch, simply not hungry and afraid to be away from my desk during that time period because my people might need something.

I was able to enjoy two of the submissives males that serve me mid-week…that was definitely a bright spot in the previous week.

I’m headed to my parents’ house to help prepare for the eventual estate sale we’ll be having mid-May. One of the two banks that holds the two mortgages started giving my brother-in-law and youngest brother a hard time this past week. The bank wants us to probate my parents’ estate since they didn’t have a will…good luck with that, we simply want the banks to take the house back, none of us want it, nor can any of us afford to make the payments. The slap-in-the-face for the banks is that the house is in terrible disrepair and with the housing market being what it is, the appraisal will be far less than what Dad owed on the house.

I’m trying to deal with the fact that the big diamond ring of my grandmother and mother is gone…difficult to deal with life does go on…oh, the value of that ring is now double what it was worth in 1980. Crazy because we found the other diamond rings…just haven’t been able to locate this particular ring…we’re afraid that Mom had it in one of her purses and Dad more than likely threw it away…YIKES!!!

So, my week was a difficult one…I’m hoping to pull myself out of the emotional/psychological slump I’m in as I get further into my employment probation. I’ve already started updating my resume and thinking about what direction I want to go in…I hate to give up on this job but I am afraid that I am on the way out regardless of how hard I try to turn-it-around.

We’ll see…it’s early in the game. I’m trying to brace myself for this next week but I have a feeling I’m going to be going through all the same emotional cycles until this probation is done in early to mid-July.

Have a great week ahead.

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