Sunday Reflections (2-7-10)

The First Sunday in the month of February…I’ve had a rough couple of weeks but seem to be finding my way.  The realization of an approaching deadline to file a lawsuit which I touched on yesterday in one of my blog posts, will run as of next Monday (2-15-10) and I can let go of the guilty residue that I really couldn’t have saved my mother…it doesn’t make it hurt any less…I can’t bring my mom back, life marches on…such is life.

I’ve been running back and forth to Muskogee tending to my dad, trying to provide some relief for my brother and sister-in-law by visiting in the evenings.  Dad is home, his house is all nice and clean and hopefully, this week, I can get some of my naughty, nasty fun lined up and engage.

One of my BDSM clients brightened my day on Friday…my subbie asked how he could lift my spirits and I popped off that he could bring me money for a shoe shopping splurge.  I’ll be damned if he didn’t take that opportunity to bring me an envelope to my office to personally, hand deliver shoe shopping splurge money.  Of course, he loved having the opportunity to stand there and talk to me…knowing I could say or do anything to him, at any moment…which I didn’t, of course.  I did talk dirty to him which thrilled him to no end…amazing to me how some of these guys will take a risk just to see the woman that sexually torments and tortures them behind closed doors!!

I created a cute little light display for my front yard yesterday.  I have a giant heart made out of No. 9 fencing wire…I had fashioned it last year but half of the lights were old that I put on it, so I unwrapped the old lights and threw them away…yesterday, I put three new strands of lights, red, pink and white on the giant heart.  I placed it on the bare, Rose of Sharon tree bush in the flowerbed in the middle of my front yard.  Then I placed red, pink and white lights on the little round shrubs underneath and to the sides of where the giant heart is hanging…

I got a bright idea to make little yard hearts out of wire clothes hangers yesterday afternoon and took my plyers and formed the hearts, then I took a strand of pink lights and wrapped each heart, three altogether and placed them out with the big heart.  I’m thinking of creating a giant arrow through the giant heart…I’m thinking I can take several wire clothes hangers and form the arrow, then wrap it with lights…yes, I’m a bit out there but I just LOVE creating a seasoned theme to a little yard art!!  Yes, I’ll be coming up with something for St. Patrick’s Day, then there will be Easter…Memorial Day and 4th of July are easy…

I’ve been wrestling with a request from a guy that declared he wants to submit to me.  Normally this wouldn’t be a point of hesitation but this guy seems to be on a mission of some sort that really doesn’t fall into a scene that I’m comfortable engaging in.  He’s here on AFF and in his profile he basically seeks a submissive woman willing to let him fill her various anatomical holes with all manners of toys, fists, cock…to make a long story short, this guy had apparently visited me as a fuck client a couple of years ago…and now, he’s developed a penchant for kink.  While I usually embrace a challenge, I’m not finding this challenge appealing…except for one and that would be to securely bind this guy from the moment he walks through my doorway.  His declaration of physical and mental strength bored me…I could careless how strong you are mentally and physically because a session involves an exchange of sexual power…if you’re willing to open your mind and put your trust in my hands, I can and will take you on quite a sexual adventure…as far as placing you in extreme pain or placing you in a total and complete humiliation role, I don’t know if I want to engage in such a scene.  I know I can, I have done it, I’ve drawn blood before but it isn’t something that I’m comfortable doing…and I don’t like being challenged that the tables will be turned on me at some point during the scene…if I’m not willing to submit to you on a beginning level, then I’m not going to be willing to submit to you in what I refer to as a “flip” scene.  My initial instinct is to bid this guy good luck and tell him I’m not interested…then I doubt myself and think, hey, I can top this guy…but why would I do that?  Why would I take that risk of being injured myself by this guy.  There is a level of violence in his notes that I’m simply not comfortable with…while I can and have administered extreme pain, I don’t like to push a submissive/slave to the point of drawing blood or causing so much pain he can barely make it to the car.  I do like challenges, but only if I’m comfortable with that challenge…I should never doubt my instinct, it’salways right…walk away from this challenge.

Another factor in being able to session this coming week, is the weather.  We’re supposed to get more wintery weather tonight into tomorrow and through into Tuesday.  Difficult to schedule sessions in the evenings if the roads are going to be bad.  I don’t expect anyone to risk his life to come and session with me…so, I’ll have to play the waiting game to see what old man winter is going to do over the next couple of days.

Oh, yeah, the Super Bowl is tonight.  I honestly don’t know which team I’ll be cheering for…I’ve got several offers to join a couple of Super Bowl parties but I think I might opt to just stay home and enjoy watching without anyone around…okay, so my little dogs will be here…for some reason, taking it easy and taking things at my own pace just sounds so great right now.

I hope everyone has a great second week of February…stay warm and safe.

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