Sunday Reflections…


What a crazy week this past week has been!!  For some reason, I hated Christmas more than normal, but I got more out of it than I ever have…I got the holiday off, no family, no friends, just hanging here at the house.

The three days of work were brutal…very busy, very chaotic…but I survived.  I’ve had to do more thinking and working in the past couple of weeks than I have the last six months…I don’t like the office when it’s slow…I like things when they are busy…I like things when I have to think and use my brain and knowledge.  There will be more craziness this work week as well…there will be four work days this week, with the office closing early, more than likely, on Thursday, New Year’s Eve!

I’m bracing for the new year…financially, I feel as though I’m back where I started when I first divorced…it is of my own doing and that makes me really disappointed in myself.  I know I’ll get it all figured out, worked out, but I’m tired of the cycle that I’ve lived in all my life.  It is a financially crippling cycle and I picked up all the bad habits from my parents…it is time to break the cycle and get a handle on my finances…I don’t want to loose everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve and accumulate…it hasn’t come down to that, at least, not yet…but things have to change.  2010 will be the year of turn arounds for me.

I did not like getting a “white” Christmas.  I don’t like ice and snow.  I can tolerate the cold temperatures, but I absolutely hate the ice and snow.  I am ready for it to all melt.  I know that will take quite a while, especially where I shoveled the driveway…now there are mountainous lines of snow surrounding my driveway.  I remember from winters past thinking how absurd it is to clear off the parking lots leaving huge mountains of snow to melt ever so slowly…the process of the melt brings about other problems such as ice forming from the newly melted snow…making things slick and impossible to navigate upon…how many times have I taken a spill on black ice?  Too many to want to go there again…

I’m hoping to enjoy the company of some of my regular clients over the next six months…I would LOVE to have some consistency with regard to my hobby…the reality is that it simply isn’t there…there will be the current friends, an old friend every now and then and a mixture of new friends…I’ll embrace the time I enjoy with them…I’ll embrace and enjoy the sex and the rewards from coming/cumming together…if only there were more both sexual fulfillment and clients!!!  I’ll be working hard to keep the day job, there’s no such thing as an old gal like me making a living out of my hobby, not this late in life!!

I don’t have any plans for New Year’s Eve…I will be mindful of the new year, rapidly approaching.  I’ll be very aware of the financial deadlines, on top of personal deadlines, work deadlines…and hope for the best…

I’m determined to get my health well in hand and get rid of some of my mid-life weight.  I’ve been setting tentative goals for my walking and yoga workouts…I’m determined that I will get this old body whipped into better physical shape, which will only improve my health and the benefits of good health.

I missed celebrating Christmas with the “whole” family…but I was able to enjoy each of my children, if only for an hour or two over the past week.  They have grown into incredible, productive adults with lives of their own.  What more could a mother desire for her children?  Honestly, the drama that comes with the whole damned family getting together, simply isn’t where I find myself wanting to be these days.  I love my dad, my sister and her family, my youngest brother and his family…and yes, I love my 91-year-old grandmother but, I can get by without seeing them every month or even every other month…Christmas was just a sore excuse for everyone to get caught up on the drama happening in others’ lives.

I’m tackling some of the clutter and repairs that need to be done to my house.  I love my house, I love being a home owner…I’ve been feeling the sting of several things going wrong that need money and attention…all in good time.  I have a fear of my house falling into disrepair around me and eventually the house falling down, but the reality is that everything that is wrong right now, can be fixed…patience and persistence is the key…

I’ve been giving thought to whether or not I could find a man that could make me happy in all aspects of a relationship…yes, even another husband…but, I think I’m so set in my swinging, open-minded sexual ways that I really don’t think there is a man out there in this big ol’world that could be the man that I want to have in my life, much less be the love of my life…I am still looking for that rich, swinging man to come into my life and make both of our lives complete…a girl can dream, can’t she?

There you have it, my week in review and some future perspectives and thoughts…I’m sure I’ll have more epiphanies as the week gets underway and I find myself wrapping up 2009 and heading into 2010, another new decade…that conjures up all manners of thoughts and reflections…it will be exactly 10-years since I embarked on this self-discovery journey…my goodness, 10-years!!!  I’ve come a long way, baby!!!!

I’m determined to take more time to post here in this blog.  I’m trying to expand my “blog” horizons and see what there is to see in the social networking world…who knows, there really might be folks that want to read what a 51-year-old woman has to say, not to mention what’s going on in her every day life as a Mature Sex Goddess!!!  A gal can dream, can’t she?  lol!!!

Time for another cup of coffee and to see what the day has in store for me.  Have a great week ahead and an even better year and decade ahead!!!

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