I’m looking forward to tomorrow, Easter Sunday, a bit more this year than last. What a difference a year makes in the grieving process. My dad has come a long way since my mother’s death a little over a year ago, as has my grandmother. When Easter rolled around last year, my grandmother had just lost her second husband of 13-years and was consumed with grief. So, here we are gathering as a family again.
This year, my daughter, her husband and my granddaughter are going to be joining us. My sister and I were skeptical as it seems my daughter’s husband has pretty much dominated whose family they participate in holidays with…it has been his family up until this Easter. I attribute this some to my daughter who basically declared me dead when I left her father. Then when she got pregnant with my granddaughter, our relationship took a turn for the better and we made it to where we are today. I was a rough first 5-years post-divorce. I had never been without “my” family during the holidays until I left my husband of 20-years. I was a VERY family oriented mother and wife. I had accepted the matriarchal baton early in my married life and carried it as best I could…then I decided to divorce and passed the baton to whoever had the gumption to pick it up because it basically fell to the floor and rolled around.
I used to miss doing the family holiday thing, being in charge, opening up my home to the who bunch…I finally let go of that desire, that need and learned how to let someone else take the reigns and take over the responsibility and work. I also learned that I didn’t necessarily have to participate if I didn’t want to…amazing how that works.
Yesterday, I went with my lunch buddy to look at wedding registry gifts for my attorney that is getting married in May. She had a registry at William-Sonoma. It was fun to walk around that fabulous store…all the kitchen gadgets, dishes, glasses, knives, cookbooks, baking-wear, coffee machines, latte machines…you name it for the kitchen and they have it. A bit pricey but supposedly VERY sturdy and useful…okay most of it was useful, some of it definitely for show and go. The Easter decorated tables were fantastic…the memories of Easters gone by came flooding back to me…I used to set my table with careful thought to the decorations and such…that was my former life. I would sigh and smile. That was then, this is now…
So, I’ll get to spend my first Easter with my granddaughter. One by one, my children are coming back to me…it has taken nearly 10-years post-divorce to come to this point…friends assured me that time would heal and that my children would return…I was told to be patient and so I was…they were right after-all. I’m relieved and grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it all once again.